How my seven years old son teaches me social skills

My seven year son teaches me a lot of manner. He's my third child. 

With the first and second child I have to admin I was not the best dad who would have acted on their best interest. I was a dad who had been influenced by the not-so-good Asian/ Confucian culture inherited from the family. I yelled at them, I scolded them sternly, I didn't give them a chance to explain. What was the reason? I created an invisible wall between myself and them. They didn't come to me for advice, they didn't come to me when they need to share their feelings. I realised the situation and how wrong I was when I read Stephen Covey's The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. 

Let's go back to my seven year old son because this article is about him. He is a sweet little boy. He cares for everybody's feeling. Traditionally Asian wives don't take the surname after marriage so my wife has her own. One night my son talked to my wife and he realised that all family members have the same surname except my wife so he said to my wife, "I will talk to dad and I will take your surname so you don't feel lonely"

On a non-school day, we let him play on electronic devices. Due to their age gaps the older kids don't spend much time playing with him on what they consider "kids' games". But my son is longing to play with someone. He asked me to play, of course I was busy on my phone, you know, reading news, responding to messages, watching a video that some ex-colleague sent or browsing aimlessly on Linkedin posts etc. so I said, "I'm busy". He kept insisting on it and expressed how glad and happy he would be if I play with him. I gave up and played with him for 20 minutes (that's his allowed timeslot). 

The 20 minutes went quick, I didn't remember what the game was about, some Skylanders wandered around and fought bad guys and a drill machine. What I really remember was how excited my son was when I joined the game. When our characters were fighting against each other and I lost (not deliberately, I was just bad) he came to me, gave me a pat on the back and said, "That's ok, you are just learning". At that time I found how mature my son had become. 

The following day we repeated the activities until his school holiday finished. Every day my son assured me how better I have become, he comforted me when I lost a battle and encouraged me to keep trying. When I moved to the wrong direction and he couldn't move and got hit by bad guys, he was a bit loud, "No, you have to go this way". A second later he turned to me and said, "I am sorry that I yelled at you. You are new to the game and you don't know where to go and it's ok". I was stunned. 

I learn from my son's behaviours, his social skills are definitely better than mine. I will wrap this blog up with the sweet action that my son did before he went to sleep. He came to me, gave me a hug and said, "Thank you for playing with me". I was so emotional, I only said, "Thank you" but in the back of my mind I really appreciated him for teaching me how to behave.

L., I love you a lot.